But I must leave....

For one who has taken birth, death is certain and for one who has died, birth is certain.
(Bhagvad Gita, chapter 2, verse 27)

I was listening to this wonderful song by Megadeth - A tout le monde. It is about the emotions riding through the mind of a person who is about to end his life and writing his suicide note. Megadeth, as the greats they always have been, recreated the magic of taking me to the very situation. I could actually feel the goose bumps that a person in the situation would have experienced. And it made me think.

What does a person feel when he knows the next moment would be his last? Or may be his last? A person committing suicide, a convict to be executed or a soldier going for the kill. Death is the common thread between them, though they are in different domains altogether - suicide as escape, gallows as punishment and war as glory. They have to be ready to face death. Although I keep reading about suicides almost every day, I do not know what makes a person to put an end to his own life. The world around seems to be too tough for him. Or maybe he is too embarrassed to face the world, or someone, again. Generally suicide is linked to cowardice. I do not know how true that is but the urge surely has its roots in some fear. Every person has a phobia of one thing or the other. And sometimes, this fear grows to a level where it overshadows other emotions. So the person can think about nothing but the fear. We all have been through such a phase. Even at this level, our mind is sound enough to keep finding a way out. But if this fear continues to grow further, it reaches a point where the mind finds every possible solution insufficient. It kills the other emotions, most importantly, courage. And then it takes the final step. Does a person committing suicide cry? If he does, he knows the value of the life he is wasting – for him and for others. If he does not, he really hates himself. I imagine this transition would not be a pleasant one, as the person would still be confused why he is dying.

A convict could be really guilty. Or not. Or a prisoner of war. But now he has to face execution – hanging, shooting squad, crucifixion, decapitation and so on. Probably he even knows the exact day and time. At this point, I would like to mention a legendry song by Iron Maiden which depicts the same situation (for those who have heard this song, they will know exactly what I am talking about) – Hallowed be thy name. ‘The sands of time for me are running low’. All he can do is count the seconds backwards. Wait for the moment. For him, death is like a truck speeding towards him and he is unable to move. He would be praying for this nightmare to end. He might be afraid, or have prepared himself long time back. He might even be proud of it. A matter of honour for him. Then the d-day comes. Last sunrise. Last look at the world. Last wish. He is treated as a dead man already, long before his execution. Last rites, funeral preparations, mourners – all in front of him. All his beliefs solidify. He either believes in after life or he doesn’t, nothing in between. There is no more confusion. Everything is crystal clear. If he believes in rebirth, he prays for a world that won’t go wrong for him a second time. Then, the signal is given.

The soldier prepares himself, emotionally. It is his job, the ‘call of duty’ as they say. For me, a soldier is the greatest human being. He has left behind everything – his home, his family, his friends and all his earthly possessions. The only thing that drives him is love. Love for his motherland. Love for his people who are very proud of what he is doing. Love for his comrades. But he does not let it ride over him. For he cannot sit and cry over the death of his comrade. That cannot be termed as apathy, but rather a suppression of emotions for a greater cause. He has a mission in hand. He knows the next bullet might have his name on it. He sees death every day. He knows death would be far from pleasant. But he carries on. Because he is there to fight, death is only a side-effect for him. But finally that moment comes when the bullet lodges in his head, he has a last look at the sky, and then closes his eyes. I wonder what thoughts must be going through his mind. Probably he’s thinking about the things he could not accomplish. Or about his family. Or about God. I would never know. But I would call that as an ideal death.

The soul is birthless, eternal, imperishable and timeless and is never terminated when the body is terminated. It is indestructible, incombustible, insoluble and unwitherable.
(Bhagvad Gita, Chapter 2, verse 20, 24)

Death is the biggest mystery the world has ever faced. Countless possibilities have been proposed since long, but they do not provide an answer. For what we know today, death is unknown. And I think it is absolutely bizarre that a person knows he is going to walk right into it. All of us know we are going to die someday. Even then, we are afraid of death. Even then, we continue to live. Natural but strange. Death is natural, but what is strange is that humans have been blessed with a mind that is capable of thinking too much about death - but it will never know what exactly death is.